The profile books are done! I've spent weeks making 5 exact duplicate copies of scrapbook profiles. It was a somewhat tedious, much more expensive than I anticipated, and stressful task. But now that it's done, I'm a little sad. Working on the books gave me an excuse to think about our adoption every day. It gave me a reason to feel connected to this whole process and like I had some semblance of control over it.
I'm glad they're done, because it is another milestone behind us. Maybe I just feel sad about it because we don't yet have the money to move forward. We're soooo close, but it will likely be another 3 weeks or so until we can officially submit the next set of fees.
Yesterday at church there was a baby dedication ceremony. I had forgotten that it was scheduled, so I was completely mentally unprepared. I cried through the whole thing. I feel bad, because it's not like I'm not happy for the other families; I'm just sad that pregnancy and childbirth can't be easy for us. It was worse because the events of Friday were so fresh in my mind.
I'm also feeling a little guilty about Eric. He's working so hard to make this adoption happen. We're talking 2 jobs, 70 hour work weeks. He is getting worn out. I just wish I could make it easier for him. I'm trying to manage stuff at home, but with my job and two kiddos something's gotta give. I'm proud of us though; we're not fighting or arguing. We're just too tired! ;o) Seriously, we've come a long way in our relationship over the last couple of years and we are 100% in this together. That's a reassuring feeling.