Saturday, April 3, 2010

Super Saturday

So yesterday's mini pity party is over.  Nothing has really changed, except the girls let me sleep in until 8 this morning!  Wahoo!  I can't even remember the last time I slept in that late.  It was very nice, and much needed. 

I feel like I should clarify a couple of things from yesterday.  First, I realize that we are pursuing this option by choice.  No one is forcing us to embark on this emotional roller coaster and to devote the majority of our energy and finances to adding to our family.  We have struggled with this decision for a long time, and wavered back and forth.  We both strongly feel that this is what God has called us to do.  So there's really no turning back.

Second, Eric's 2nd job isn't bad.  It's actually a pretty good place to work, and he's not taking it too seriously and he's enjoying it.  It's the time management part that gets us.  I have never been stretched so thin, and it is taking some serious adjustment.

Okay, so now that that's out of the way, on to other items.  Today was an absolutely gorgeous day.  I didn't clean the house and I didn't prepare for the garage sale, both things that desperately needed to be done.   Instead  I played with the girls, polished our nails, and watched Cars.  again.  Kaylee loves that movie.

I did manage to get the shopping  done and the bulk of the laundry done  plus I worked on the profile books during nap time.  So it was a slightly productive  day.   Really, it was a good balance of work and play.  I wish every day could be this way.

I'm fighting the urge to start buying baby things.  We so don't have the money.  But I wish I could somehow make this adoption feel real.  Kaylee and Kera will sometimes randomly ask me when the baby will get here.  I just tell them the truth - that I have no idea.  They seem to be okay with that answer for now.  Kaylee remarked today, "God must be having a hard time finding a lady who doesn't want her baby."  Wow.  From a 5 year old.  It's either black or white at that age.  It's very interesting to watch her develop her understanding of the adoption process. 

Kera gets it in her own 4 year old way too.  She mostly thinks we're getting more than one.  It's either that, or she's talking about when she  has a baby one day LOL.  She wants a girl and wants to name her Emma.  Not sure if that's my baby or her baby though. ;o)  She is very excited, but I think it will be hard on her to not be the baby anymore.  She is such a spoiled little  girl right now!

So for now I'm not  buying baby things.  We didn't buy any baby things when we were trying to get pregnant with Kaylee and Kera and for me, it  feels  like that it about equivalent to where we are now.   Maybe my feelings will change once  we get further into the process and get a match.  But for now, it will have to stay abstract.  That's the best I can manage for now.

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